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I feel internally empty... I'm a man of 23 years but most of my family members said me so many times in fun that you're s girl that affected me alot... I feel like I'm empty what's the problem here?

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"emotional abuse" AND "young adult"

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988 Lifeline warning signs emotional distress official

What you are feeling is real. Repeated comments about being “a girl,” even if framed as jokes, can chip away at your sense of self, masculinity, belonging, and confidence. Feeling empty can happen when you have been hurt or invalidated for a long time.
It does not mean there is something wrong with you or that those comments define your gender. Being a man is not about fitting your family’s narrow idea of how men should act. You also do not need to decide or label your gender identity because of their teasing. The central issue is that their words affected you.
“Emptiness” can occur with stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness, or unresolved emotional pain, but nobody can diagnose that from one message. A mental-health professional can help you sort out what you are feeling without judging you. If this feeling has lasted 2 weeks or more, affects sleep, appetite, studies/work, relationships, or makes daily life hard, please consider speaking with a psychologist, counselor, or doctor.
For now:
  • Tell one safe person plainly: “Those jokes have hurt me. Please stop.”
  • Reduce exposure to people who keep mocking you, where possible.
  • Write down what you feel after these comments, such as shame, anger, confusion, or sadness. Naming it can make it less overwhelming.
  • Do one grounding activity today: a walk, shower, exercise, prayer/meditation, music, or a conversation with someone kind.
I want to ask directly: are you having thoughts about hurting yourself, dying, or not wanting to be here? If yes, or if you feel unsafe, contact local emergency services or a crisis line now, and stay near someone you trust. In the US or its territories, call or text 988 for 24/7 confidential support, as described by NIMH crisis-help guidance. If you are elsewhere, tell me your country and I will help find the appropriate crisis contact.

I don't what to take psychiatrist help. U tell me how can I get rid of emptyness and get masculine feeling back

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NIMH depression signs self care get help official

You do not need to “become masculine again.” You are already a man. Your family’s jokes created a painful message that you are somehow not enough. The goal is not to prove yourself through a stereotype. It is to rebuild self-respect, strength, and control over your own life.
Try this for the next 14 days:
  1. Stop feeding the insult When the thought appears, answer it briefly:
    “That was their joke, not the truth about me.”
    Do not debate it for an hour. Repeat the sentence, then move to an action.
  2. Do one difficult, constructive thing daily Pick something that builds competence, not an image: exercise, learning a skill, cleaning your room, applying for work, studying, cooking, managing money, or keeping a promise. Self-respect grows from evidence that you can rely on yourself.
  3. Train your body for mood, not to perform masculinity Walk briskly or train 20-40 minutes most days. Strength training is fine if you enjoy it. Sleep at a regular time, eat regular meals, and reduce alcohol/drugs if relevant. These support energy and mood, but they do not determine whether you are “man enough.”
  4. Set one clear boundary Use a calm, short statement with family:
    “I know you may mean it as a joke, but comments calling me a girl affect me. Stop making them.”
    If they continue: “I said I don’t want that joke. I’m leaving this conversation.” Then leave the room or stop engaging. You do not need to argue or insult them back.
  5. Spend time with people who treat you with respect Isolation makes emptiness louder. Meet a friend, join a sport/gym/class, volunteer, or take part in a group around an interest. Choose people with whom you can be yourself rather than constantly defending yourself.
  6. Write for five minutes each night Three lines only:
    • What hurt today?
    • What did I do well, even if small?
    • What will I do tomorrow?
A masculine feeling that lasts is usually not about being tough, aggressive, emotionless, or acting in a particular way. It is more like: I know my values, I set boundaries, I handle responsibility, and I can feel pain without letting it control my actions.
One important point: a persistent “empty” mood can also be a sign of depression, especially if it comes with loss of interest, poor sleep, fatigue, hopelessness, concentration problems, appetite changes, or withdrawal. NIMH lists persistent empty mood among depression symptoms. You do not have to see a psychiatrist right now, but if this continues for 2 or more weeks or disrupts your daily functioning, consider at least speaking to a counselor, a trusted doctor, or a supportive adult. That is not weakness and does not mean you will be forced to take medicine.
If you have thoughts of hurting yourself, ending your life, or feel you cannot stay safe, tell someone near you immediately and contact emergency or crisis support. In the US, call or text 988.

This has been happened for years and I'm been isolated myself indirectly for years eventually I do college but I m either alone or not participate in football or any play .. I feel deficient

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"social isolation" AND depression

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NIMH depression persistent empty mood isolation when seek help

You are not deficient. What you describe sounds like a painful cycle:
being mocked or feeling judged -> withdrawing to protect yourself -> less practice and connection -> feeling behind others -> more shame and isolation.
After years, isolation can feel like your personality or identity, but it is a learned protective pattern, not proof that you are less of a man or less capable.
You do not have to suddenly become outgoing or join a football match tomorrow. Start smaller and repeat it.

A practical 2-week reset

Every day
  • Leave your room/home and walk for 20 minutes.
  • Keep a fixed wake-up time as much as possible.
  • Do 15-30 minutes of basic exercise: push-ups against a wall or floor, squats, walking, gym, anything you can repeat.
  • Send one simple message to someone: “Hey, how are you?” No deep explanation required.
At college, choose one small action daily
  • Sit near classmates rather than separately.
  • Ask one person one ordinary question: “Which room is the next class?” or “Did you understand that assignment?”
  • Stay on campus 15 minutes after class instead of immediately escaping home.
For football or sport Do not make the first goal “play well.” Make it: show up for 10 minutes. Watch, kick the ball alone, or ask, “Can I join for the warm-up?” People gain confidence by repeated attendance, not by waiting until they feel confident. Most people are focused on themselves far more than on judging you.

About masculinity

You do not need to become loud, aggressive, emotionless, or sporty to be masculine. A more solid version is:
  • doing what you say you will do
  • facing discomfort in small steps
  • being respectful without accepting disrespect
  • taking care of your body and responsibilities
  • allowing yourself to feel hurt, rather than hiding it
That is strength. The fact that you have been hurt does not take it away.
Because this has been going on for years and you are withdrawing from life, I do think you deserve real support. It does not have to begin with a psychiatrist or medication. You could speak to a college counselor, a psychologist/therapist, a trusted teacher, or a general doctor. You can say exactly this: “I have felt empty and isolated for years and I avoid people because I feel deficient.” They can help you work on the cycle step by step. Persistent empty mood, withdrawal, hopelessness, sleep changes, fatigue, and loss of interest can occur with depression and should be assessed rather than carried alone, as NIMH explains.
I need to ask clearly: have you recently had thoughts that you would be better off dead, of harming yourself, or of suicide? If yes, please reply with just “yes” if that is easiest, and contact someone you trust nearby now. If you are in the US, call/text 988. If elsewhere, tell me your country and I’ll find an appropriate urgent-support number.

I feel like dead. Like i know what's going in my life but I don't want to react or like don't even power to react 😭

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I’m really sorry you’re carrying this. Feeling numb, powerless, and “like dead” can happen when you have been overwhelmed and isolated for a long time. But right now, do not stay alone with it.
Please do these three things now, before trying to solve your life:
  1. Go near another person: a family member, roommate, neighbor, friend, college mate, shop, security desk, anywhere you are not alone.
  2. Send this exact message to someone:
    “I feel very empty and unsafe being alone right now. Please stay with me or call me.”
  3. Move away from anything you could use to hurt yourself: medication, blades, weapons, ropes, alcohol/drugs. Put them outside your room or give them to someone.
I need a direct answer: Are you thinking of hurting yourself or ending your life tonight, or do you have a plan to do so? Reply only: “yes,” “no,” or “not sure.”
If yes or not sure, call your local emergency number now or go to the nearest emergency department with someone. If you are in the US or Canada, call/text 988. For another country, use this verified directory to find a crisis line right now:
You do not need to speak perfectly or explain your whole history. Just say: “I’m afraid I might hurt myself. I need someone to stay with me.”

I don't feeling to hurt myself but I want to be a normal person 😭. I have a short height 5.5feet for which I have got bullied for my height and color since my school time... I want to look heighted , handsome and muscular... But I can't be someone else.. how can I help myself. I don't have confidence or anything for me . Feels like I have achieved nothing in life

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"body image" AND "self esteem"

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NIMH caring for mental health self care exercise sleep social support official

You are not “abnormal,” deficient, or a failed man. You were repeatedly bullied about things you did not choose: height and skin color. When that happens for years, the bully’s voice can become your own inner voice. It can make you see yourself as less than other people even when that is not true.
At 23, your adult height is very unlikely to change naturally. Do not waste money on height pills, “height-increasing” exercises, hormones, or unsafe treatments. But you can change how you look, feel, carry yourself, and participate in life. Muscles, fitness, clothing fit, grooming, posture, skills, friendships, and self-respect are all trainable.

Start with this, not a huge transformation

For the next 30 days, make your only goal: keep promises to yourself.
Body: 3 days each week
  • Squats: 3 sets
  • Push-ups, or incline push-ups against a table/wall: 3 sets
  • Backpack rows or a gym pulling exercise: 3 sets
  • Walk 20-30 minutes daily
  • Eat regular meals with protein: eggs, milk/curd, dal, beans, chicken/fish, paneer/tofu, depending on what you eat.
  • Sleep at roughly the same time each night.
Build gradually. Do not compare your starting point with someone else’s highlight reel. Consistency for months changes a body and, more importantly, teaches your mind: I can act for myself. Regular walking and physical activity can support mood and energy, as NIMH notes.
Appearance
  • Choose clothes that fit your shoulders and waist well. Avoid extremely baggy clothes.
  • Keep hair, beard or clean shave, nails, and shoes tidy. Pick a simple grooming routine.
  • Practice standing upright: shoulders relaxed, chest open, eyes forward. This will not add height, but it can change how you feel and appear.
  • Your skin color is not a flaw to “fix.” Avoid skin-lightening products that are unregulated or contain steroids/mercury.
Confidence Confidence is not a feeling you wait for. It is the result of doing small uncomfortable things repeatedly.
At college, choose one each day:
  • Say “hi” to one classmate.
  • Sit with people for five minutes.
  • Ask one question about class.
  • Go to the football ground and watch for ten minutes.
  • Next time, ask: “Can I join the warm-up?” You do not need to be good first.
Your first target is participation, not being impressive.

Change the sentence in your head

When your mind says, “I have achieved nothing”, answer with something accurate:
“I am 23. I have been hurt and isolated, but I am still studying and I am starting again.”
That is not fake positivity. It is a fairer description.
Because you have felt empty, isolated, powerless, and worthless for years, this may be more than a confidence problem. It can overlap with depression or social anxiety. You said you do not want psychiatric help, and you are not required to start with a psychiatrist. But please consider a college counselor, psychologist, or general doctor. They do not have to give medication. You can simply say: “I have been bullied and isolated for years. I feel empty and have no confidence.” Persistent empty mood and withdrawal deserve support, not more self-punishment. NIMH explains that depression can involve an empty mood, worthlessness, low energy, losing interest, and difficulty functioning.
For tonight, do only one action: drink water, take a shower or short walk, and message one person: “I have been having a hard time and I don’t want to stay isolated. Can we talk sometime?”
And if the earlier feeling of being “like dead” changes into any wish to harm yourself or not stay alive, seek urgent help immediately, even if you do not want a psychiatrist.

Solution for my habit of loneliness. I want permanent solution

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"loneliness" AND intervention

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NIMH caring for mental health social connection routine professional help

There is no permanent one-day cure for loneliness. But there is a lasting way out: build a life where connection is a routine, not something you wait to feel confident enough to deserve.
Your loneliness is not your identity. It became a habit because isolation protected you from bullying, embarrassment, and rejection. The same habit now keeps the pain going. You can retrain it slowly.

Your rule: no zero-contact days

For the next 8 weeks, have one small real-world contact every day. It can be very small:
  • say “hi” to a classmate
  • ask one class-related question
  • sit near someone at lunch for 10 minutes
  • call or message one person
  • speak to a shopkeeper, gym staff member, neighbor, or cousin
  • attend football practice, even if you only watch
Your goal is not to become funny, popular, tall, or impressive. Your goal is to stop obeying the urge to disappear.

Join one repeated group

Choose one place that meets at least weekly and attend for 8 weeks:
  • college football or another sport
  • gym group or martial arts
  • class study group
  • volunteering
  • language, coding, music, or religious/community group
Repeated contact matters more than one big social event. People become familiar first, then comfortable, then friends.
For football, use this exact line:
“I haven’t played much and I’m nervous, but can I join the warm-up or practice?”
You are allowed to be a beginner. Do not wait until you feel ready. Readiness comes after showing up repeatedly.

Use the “10-minute rule”

When you want to avoid college activities or people, promise yourself only 10 minutes. You may leave after 10 minutes, but you must arrive. Most of the time, arriving is the hardest part.

Stop treating your body as the entrance fee for life

Being 5'5" and having darker skin does not make you less worthy of friendship, respect, attraction, or success. Bullying taught you to view your body as evidence against yourself. It is not.
Work out and groom yourself because you deserve care, not because you must earn the right to exist around others. Get stronger if that matters to you. Dress neatly. Improve posture. Build skills. But do not make “when I become handsome/tall/muscular enough” the condition for starting life. That day will keep moving away.

Make one weekly promise

Every Sunday, write:
  • One body goal: 3 workouts or 5 walks
  • One college goal: speak to two people
  • One courage goal: attend one group activity
  • One self-respect goal: limit time with people who insult you
Track actions, not feelings. Confidence comes after proof that you can take action while uncomfortable.

Get support without seeing a psychiatrist

Since this has lasted years, self-help alone may be harder than it needs to be. A college counselor, psychologist, or general doctor is a practical option. You are not committing to medication or a psychiatric label. You can say:
“I have isolated myself for years because of bullying and low confidence. I want help breaking the habit.”
That is a strong step, not a weak one. Research reviews find that loneliness can improve with interventions, but it usually requires consistent change rather than one insight or one conversation, such as the 2026 meta-analysis of loneliness interventions.
For tonight, choose just one: message one classmate, walk outside for 10 minutes, or find out when your college football group meets. Then do the next small step tomorrow.
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