This is a genuinely painful situation, and it makes complete sense that you're feeling confused and hurt. Here's some honest, grounded perspective:
What Happened
You developed real, deep feelings over years of close connection. That's not a mistake or delusion - long, intimate conversations do create emotional bonds. But sometimes two people experience the same connection differently. He felt friendship; you felt something more. Both experiences were real, just not the same.
His words - "I never looked at you that way" - are clear, and as hard as they are to hear, they're actually a gift of honesty rather than stringing you along.
What You're Feeling Now
The distance you sense isn't imaginary. When one person reveals deeper feelings and the other doesn't match them, the dynamic does shift - sometimes permanently. Both of you are now navigating something new and awkward. That's normal.
What You Can Actually Do
1. Give yourself permission to grieve
You didn't lose a bad relationship. You lost the idea of what you hoped this would become. That grief is legitimate. Don't rush past it.
2. Be honest with yourself about the friendship
Ask: Can I genuinely be his friend right now, without it hurting? If the answer is no, it's okay to create space - not as punishment, but as self-care. You don't owe him your presence while you're hurting.
3. Don't try to "change his mind"
This path almost always leads to more pain. He was honest with you. Pursuing or hoping he'll eventually feel differently tends to delay your own healing rather than resolve anything.
4. Redirect your energy inward
The feelings you had - the hope, the care, the depth - those say something beautiful about you and what you're capable of. That capacity for connection will find the right person. This just wasn't the one.
5. Lean on other relationships
Isolation makes this hurt more. Talk to a close friend, journal, or even consider a few sessions with a counselor if the feelings feel overwhelming.
The Hard Truth
A friendship that survives this is possible, but usually only after some real time and distance. Right now, the most important relationship to tend to is the one you have with yourself.
You mistook depth of connection for romantic alignment - that's one of the most human mistakes there is. It doesn't mean you were foolish. It means you cared deeply. That's not something to be ashamed of.