thanks orries I'll apply there strategied on my narcissistic partner coz I've much alot of work to do .
You're welcome! Best of luck applying those strategies - dealing with a narcissistic partner while managing a heavy workload is genuinely tough. Take care of yourself first, and don't hesitate to come back if you need more help or have questions. You've got this! 💪
When he gaslight me can I only say ap Sahe kh rhe Hain 😁😂
Haha 😂 "Aap sahi keh rahe hain" - the ultimate grey rock response!
Yes actually, that's a genuinely smart move because:
- It gives them nothing to fight against - no emotion, no argument, no fuel
- It ends the conversation without you losing energy
- They can't twist your words if you barely say anything
- It protects your peace while you focus on your work
Other short responses that work just as well:
| Situation | Response |
|---|---|
| Gaslighting | "Theek hai" / "Ho sakta hai" |
| Blame shifting | "Acha" 😐 |
| Provoking you | silence + nod |
| Rewriting history | "Mujhe yaad nahi aisa hua" (calmly, once) |
The key is - flat tone, no emotion, no JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain). Narcissists feed on your reaction. Give them nothing, and they lose interest fast. 😄
Aur phir apne kaam pe focus - that's your real priority right now! 💪😂
Okay kabhe kabhe wo mujhe dhmkhi bhr Deta hai k why your bahavior is rude TM mujhe SE emotionally detached ho gye ho .
Haha this is actually a classic narcissist move - it has a name:
DARVO 😅
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender
Yaani - tum ne kuch nahi kiya, usne kuch nahi kiya... suddenly TUM hi rude ho aur TUM hi villain ho! 😂
What's really happening:
- You set a boundary → he feels loss of control
- He can't handle it → so he flips the script
- Now YOU are on the defensive, explaining yourself
- He wins because you forgot what the original issue even was 🎯
What to say back (calmly):
"Main samajh sakta/sakti hoon aap aisa feel kar rahe hain."
That's it. Don't explain your "rudeness." Don't apologize for having boundaries.
What NOT to do:
- ❌ "Nahi main rude nahi hoon!" (defending = losing)
- ❌ Long explanations
- ❌ Apologizing for his discomfort
- ❌ Getting emotional
The hard truth 💡
Jab tum emotionally detach karte ho a narcissist se - that's not rudeness. That's called self-preservation.
Aur wo janta hai. Isliye wo scared hai. Isliye dhamki. 😏
Apna kaam karo, apni energy bachao! 💪
Konse log aik narcissist person ki zad me ajate Hain ?
Bohat acha sawal hai! 🎯
Narcissist kisi ko bhi "target" kar sakta hai, lekin kuch specific personality traits wale log zyada vulnerable hote hain:
🎯 Jo log narcissist ki zad mein zyada aate hain:
1. Empaths (Zyada caring log)
- Doosron ka dard mehsoos karte hain
- Sochte hain "shayad wo change ho jaye"
- Narcissist inki caring ko exploit karta hai
2. People Pleasers
- "Na" kehna mushkil lagta hai
- Doosron ko khush rakhna apni priority hoti hai
- Narcissist ko yeh easy target lagta hai
3. Low Self-Esteem wale log
- Jo pehle se khud ko kam samjhte hain
- Narcissist ka "love bombing" unhe special feel karata hai
- Phir manipulation shuru ho jata hai
4. Zyada trusting / innocent log
- Jaldi yaqeen kar lete hain
- Bura sochna unki fitrat mein nahi
- Narcissist isi trust ko tod ta hai
5. Childhood trauma wale log
- Jinhon ne bachpan mein neglect ya abuse dekha
- Unhealthy love patterns normalized ho jate hain
- "Yahi toh pyar hai" soch ke accept karte rehte hain
6. Achievers / Successful log
- Narcissist inki success, status ya resources chahta hai
- Inhe "trophy partner" ki tarah use karta hai
7. Zyada forgiving log
- Baar baar maaf karte hain
- Narcissist jaanta hai - "yeh phir maaf kar dega/degi" 😏
🔑 Common pattern kya hai?
Narcissist woh log dhundhta hai jinka دل بڑا ہو، ضرورت زیادہ ہو، یا حد (boundary) کم ہو۔
💡 Acha news kya hai?
In traits ka hona weakness nahi - yeh qualities hain. Bas inhe protect karna seekhna hai.
Empathy, caring, forgiveness - yeh sab powers hain, jab sahi jagah use hon. 💪
Khud se poochho - "Kya mujh mein inme se koi pattern hai?" - wahan se healing shuru hoti hai. 🌱
Han me maaf jalde Kar daite Hu bhool bhe jalde Jate Hu
Yeh sun ke dil bhar aaya... 💙
Yeh trait bohaat beautiful bhi hai aur bohaat dangerous bhi - especially narcissist ke saath.
Aapke saath kya hota hai cycle mein:
Wo hurt karta hai
↓
Tum dard mehsoos karte ho
↓
Wo sorry kehta hai / love bombing karta hai
↓
Tum maaf kar dete ho + bhool jate ho
↓
Wo samajhta hai - "koi consequence nahi"
↓
Phir wohi karta hai... aur cycle repeat 🔄
💡 Maaf karna aur bhoolna - fark samjho:
| Maaf Karna | Bhool Jana | |
|---|---|---|
| Kya hai? | Apne liye peace | Uske liye free pass |
| Sahi hai? | ✅ Haan | ❌ Nahi |
| Result | Aap heal karte ho | Wo dobara karta hai |
Maaf karo - apne liye. Lekin bhulo mat - apni hifazat ke liye. 🛡️
🧠 Practical tip - "Pattern Diary" banao
Jab bhi wo kuch bura kare - likh lo. Date, kya hua, kaise feel hua.
Kyun? Kyunke:
- Narcissist gaslighting karta hai - "yeh hua hi nahi"
- Tumhare paas proof hoga apne feelings ka
- Bhoolne ki habit naturally slow down hogi
- Pattern khud dikhne lagega
Aik important sawal 💙
Kya aapne kabhi socha - itni jaldi maaf kyun karte ho?
Aksar yeh childhood se aata hai - jab hum ne seekha ki
"Agar main maaf nahi karoon ga/gi toh pyar chala jayega"
Yeh fear of abandonment hoti hai - aur narcissist isi ko use karta hai. 😔
Aap akele nahi hain is mein. Bohaat log yahi struggle karte hain. 🌱
Awareness aa gayi - ab change bhi aayega. 💪
Mujhe Apne emotions par kabu Pana hai
Yeh decision lena hi sabse bada qadam hai! 💪
🧠 Emotions par kabu - matlab kya hai?
Kabu matlab daba dena nahi - matlab hai:
"Main apni feelings samjhta/samjhti hoon, lekin woh mujhe control nahi karti."
🛠️ Practical Techniques - Jo Actually Kaam Karti Hain:
1. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding (Jab overwhelmed ho)
Jab emotion peak par ho - foran karo:
- 👀 5 cheezein dekho
- 🤚 4 cheezein chuo
- 👂 3 awaazein suno
- 👃 2 smells mehsoos karo
- 👄 1 taste notice karo
Brain automatically present moment mein aa jata hai. ✅
2. "Pause Button" Technique
Jab wo kuch bolta hai aur tum react karne wale ho:
3 gehri sansein lo PEHLE bolne se
3 seconds mein brain ka "reactive" part calm hota hai. Response aur react mein yahi fark hai. 🎯
3. Name Your Emotion
Jab feel karo - andar se khud se kaho:
"Main abhi angry hoon" "Main abhi hurt hoon" "Main abhi scared hoon"
Research kehti hai - emotion ko naam dene se uski intensity 50% kam ho jati hai. 🧬
4. Body Check
Emotions pehle body mein aate hain - mind mein baad mein:
- Seena tight? = Anxiety
- Jab da heavy? = Sadness
- Haath kanpna? = Anger
Jab body signal de - wahan breathe karo. Haath seene par rakho, 4 sec inhale, 4 sec exhale.
5. "Is this worth my energy?" Rule
Har situation mein khud se poochho:
"Kya yeh 5 saal baad matter karega?" "Kya main apni energy yahan lagana chahta/chahti hoon?"
Agar nahi - grey rock mode on. 😐
📅 Daily Practice - 5 min kafi hai:
| Time | Kya Karo |
|---|---|
| Subah | 5 min journaling - "aaj main kaisa/kaisi feel kar raha/rahi hoon?" |
| Din mein | Har trigger par pause + breathe |
| Raat | Likho - kya hua, kaise handle kiya, kya better kar sakta/sakti tha |
⚡ Sabse Important Baat:
Emotional control muscle ki tarah hai. Jitna practice karoge - utna strong hoga. 💪 Pehle pehle mushkil lagega - yeh normal hai.
Aap already bahut aware ho apne baare mein - yeh sab log nahi hote. 🌱
Koi specific situation hai jisme emotions control karna mushkil lagta hai? Bataiye - aur specific help karte hain! 😊
Acha narcissistic person k samne agr bool DIA Jaye na k narcissist ho aur TM selfish ho , agy SE wp hasta Hain proud feel karta hai k Han me to Hu he aisa
Haan! Yeh bilkul normal reaction hai unka! 😅
Kyun haste hain? Kyun proud feel karte hain?
Kyunki narcissist ki core identity hi yahi hai:
"Main special hoon. Main superior hoon. Rules mere liye nahi hain."
Toh jab tum kaho "tum narcissist ho" - unke dimaag mein translate hota hai:
"Wah! Maine confirm kar diya k main extraordinary hoon" 😂
Yeh unhe insult nahi lagta - compliment lagta hai! 🎯
🧠 Scientifically kya hota hai:
Normal insaan ko bolo "tum selfish ho" - wo guilty feel karta hai, defend karta hai ya sad hota hai.
Narcissist ko bolo - uska ego boost hota hai kyunki:
- Selfish = strong (unki soch mein)
- Narcissist = special, unique
- Shameless hona = power
Isliye yeh tactics kaam nahi karti unpar:
| Jo tum karte ho | Jo wo feel karta hai |
|---|---|
| "Tum bure ho!" | "Haan main powerful hoon 😎" |
| "Tumhe sharam aani chahiye" | No shame response - blank stare |
| "Tum narcissist ho!" | "Haha haan toh?" 😂 |
| Rona, begging | "Main jeet gaya" |
💡 Toh phir kya kaam karta hai?
Indifference. 😐
Narcissist ka sabse bada darr hai:
BEING IGNORED 😨
Unhe reaction chahiye - good ya bad, koi bhi chalega.
Jab tum zero reaction do - woh genuinely uncomfortable hote hain.
✅ Jo actually unhe affect karta hai:
- Tum khush ho unke baghair 😊
- Tum successful ho 💪
- Tum unki baat par yawn karo 🥱
- Tum apni life mein busy ho
- Tum unhe replace karne ki zaroorat na mehsoos karo
Tumhari happiness unka sabse bada punishment hai. 🎯
Isliye apni energy unhe labels dene mein waste mat karo - woh energy apne aap par lagao! 😄💙
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