My dad he is having bipolar disorder and he is in the up state and he

My dad he is having bipolar disorder and he is in the up state and he is asking me again and again to call random people in his contact list and when i am denying he is getting angry How to navigate

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I now have enough clinical context. Let me give you a thorough, practical answer.

Navigating a Manic Episode — Practical Guide for Caregivers

What you're describing — your father repeatedly demanding you call random people, and becoming angry when you refuse — is a classic presentation of acute mania: impulsivity, disinhibition, grandiosity, pressured social activity, and irritability when limits are set. This is not a character flaw; it's the illness driving his behavior.

Here's how to handle it across two fronts: right now and going forward.

🔴 Is This a Safety Emergency?

First, assess the severity:

Is he threatening harm to himself or others?
Is he agitated to the point of violence?
Is he doing things with serious real-world consequences (sending money, making business decisions, driving recklessly)?

If yes to any of these → seek emergency psychiatric care (call his psychiatrist, go to an ER, or call emergency services depending on your country). Acute mania can escalate rapidly.

If this is "manageable but disruptive," read on.

🟡 In the Moment — De-escalation

1. Don't argue, don't explain at length His brain is racing and he cannot process lengthy reasoning right now. A long argument will escalate him. Keep responses short and calm.

Instead of: "Dad, you can't just call random people, that's embarrassing and I won't do it." Try: "Dad, I hear you. Let's just sit for a minute first."

2. Redirect, don't confront Directly denying a manic person triggers anger because their brain is wired to override inhibitions right now. Redirect the energy instead:

"Let me get you some water first."
"Tell me who you want to call and why" — slow him down by showing interest, without immediately picking up the phone.
Offer a different activity (music, a walk, food).

3. Stay calm and low-stimulation Your calm is contagious. Lower your voice, avoid fast movements, reduce background noise/TV.

4. Don't shame or mock Even indirect comments like "You're not making sense" worsen agitation. Validate the emotion without reinforcing the behavior.

"I can see you really want to talk to people. That makes sense."

5. Firm, short limits — once You can set a limit, but say it once and calmly:

"I'm not going to make those calls right now."

Then stop engaging with that specific demand. Don't keep justifying — it feeds the loop.

🟠 Protect Him from Consequences of Mania

Manic episodes commonly lead to decisions that cause real harm:

Disable or hide access to his phone contacts temporarily if he might make embarrassing or harmful calls himself.
Alert close family members so they're not blindsided.
Monitor finances — impulsive spending/giving away money is very common.
Don't let him drive if he's severely agitated or sleep-deprived.

🟢 The Most Important Step — Medical Attention

This is the core issue. A manic episode needs medication adjustment, not just caregiver management. The standard treatments for acute mania include:

Lithium or valproate (mood stabilizers) — first-line
Atypical antipsychotics (olanzapine, risperidone, quetiapine, aripiprazole) — first-line, especially for rapid control
Combinations of the above for more severe episodes — Kaplan & Sadock's Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry

Contact his psychiatrist today. Tell them:

He is in a manic episode
He is irritable and behaviorally dysregulated
His current medications may need to be adjusted or an antipsychotic added

If he doesn't have a current psychiatrist, take him to a psychiatric outpatient clinic or ER.

🔵 Taking Care of Yourself

Caring for a manic parent is exhausting and emotionally draining. A few things:

You are not responsible for "fixing" his mania — you can only manage safety and contact his care team.
It's okay to step away from the room when you're overwhelmed. Brief disengagement is not abandonment.
Tell other family members so the burden doesn't fall only on you.
Consider a caregiver support group for families of people with bipolar disorder (e.g., NAMI in the US has family support programs).

Summary

Priority	Action
Immediate	De-escalate calmly, short firm responses, redirect
Protect	Monitor phone, finances, driving
Urgent	Call his psychiatrist — medication may need adjustment
Emergency	ER/crisis line if he's a danger to himself or others
Ongoing	Don't carry this alone — involve family, seek caregiver support

You're doing the right thing by setting limits. The irritability when you say no is the mania, not your father — and it will improve with proper treatment.

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